Swiss. Hole. Big cheese. Compose your own headline here

The 2010 Guinness Book of World Records comes out today apparently. I say apparently because we haven't been sent an advance copy or anything. We just know these things.

But it's still 2009 and we were interested to see in this year's edition about the oldest person in the world ever to record a hole-in-one.

Amazingly, at the age of 99 years and 244 days, Otto Bucher, from Switzerland, aced the 119m, 12th hole on La Manga's South course on January 13, 1985.

Which begs the question, at that age, why wasn't he still sleeping off his Christmas dinner...?

BUNKY

Sole traders

Every week the two of them go head to head - and every week they both claim top spot.

No not Man Utd and Chelsea; not even Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson. That would be at least mildly interesting.

No, this constant battle for top spot is between two golf shoe plastic cleat manufacturers.

Softspikes and Champ go head-to-head again . . .

and again . . . and again

Every week, after the weekend's tournaments are complete the PR machines of the two rival manufacturers go into overdrive hoping that one day, somebody will be minutely interested in what they had to say. And every week, The Wire, bless it, tells us all about it.

I mean, come on, we're all in favour of a bit of positive PR but when do you finally accept you need a new hook for a release . . .?

BUNKY